
This pile of loveliness needs to be crocheted together into a blanket (with white cotton). Off course, not all of my crochet is 100% made by me. That’s with some of my sewings too. I hire independent seamstress to help me out.
With crochet it’s always my mom (oh and with knits too, my mom is so good with knitting!!). I have a design, or something in my head, an order or something else and she takes over some of the work. Like with this pile of granny squares. This is the last stash of cotton that needs to be worked away and I though it was a good rest stash for a blanket. Randomly coloured squares with all a white border. So mom made all the squares and now I’ll be crocheting them together with white cotton.
But taking a picture is probably the only thing that’s happening today… For over a week I don’t feel good. And it’s ‘fine’ to have a flew, be sick, in bed and get better but that’s not the thing. I’m so incredibly dizzy, I have those moments I only see little lights and my head is bursting of my body. And then I think, ahh it’s going away but noooo, a few hours later it’s back. It’s there and it goes away. Really annoying and tiring. And really taking away my time and messing up my schedule.
No, don’t worry. This isn’t serious. A bit of a high blood pressure that will get down. After my burnout in 2008 I’ve learned more about my body and how to listen to it. But I still need a lot of practice. Sometimes I listen a bit to late..
For the last months I worked freelance for a Dutch craft magazine. That was a really nice job to do. I wrote diy articles for the magazine, wrote for the website, did the facebook and twitter, and more and more and more and more.. It became more and more and after a while I only worked for the magazine. I did SOIL work too but not as I planned. Made a lot of new products for the shop.. Did you see them? No, me neither. Yes, here in my workspace but not on a picture, not in the shop. But the thing was, if I worked hours and hours for another website, I didn’t feel the urge to do my SOIL site. I wanted to work with my hands! Do some crochet, figure out something new, make a present for a friend.. But then there wasn’t time to do pictures, uploading, twittering etc. Blogging was a thing too..

So I stopped working for HZG. I turned in my last writing for the October issue, two weeks ago. After my last conversation with the publisher (and I will be continuing writing for the magazine but not on a long term contract anymore) I got in the car and felt like crying. So much work got of my chest but I also realized how much (SOIL) work I left lying around, for the last months..
Working for myself as in making handmade designs and doing different freelance textile/art related jobs is the best choice I ever made. The best one. But I’m still learning to keep balance between all the different jobs and work, set boundaries and listen to myself. Guess it’s a long-life-time learning process.. So my body is just responding. I know. I’m listening right now. (and getting back to bed..)